Well, November craziness continues! This month is jam packed with happenings, and today is no exception. I'm heading out to Colorado this evening, where it's well below freezing temps. I'll be in Colorado for less than 24 hours but even such a short trip requires a ton of coordination.
It involves Shaun taking over Penelope's drop-off at daycare duties. He also has to get her to the doctor today for her flu shot. It involves me running around like a lunatic to make sure the house is tidy enough, that Penelope's laundry is done, and that Shaun has the appropriate details and lists for anything and everything that might pop up while I'm gone. Shaun is a super hands on Dad, but it's still the Mom in our house who handles the little details, and so leaving for even a day is an impact.
Not to mention the fact that I have to grapple with not seeing Penelope for 2 whole nights, which is a lot and I hate it. I do end up traveling a bit for my job. We have clients all over the country and so I'm always on the go at least every couple of months.
It's actually quite a crux because up until I had Penelope, I couldn't WAIT to travel for work. In fact, I worked really hard to get to a place where I was a go-to person for travel, to attend big meetings and be that ambitious career woman.
And now? Well, I don't hate traveling, but it doesnt quite have the same allure as before. It's a shame that by the time a career reaches a turning point of growth and success, it's also about the time that women are having children and thus wanting to work less hours, be home more, travel less. I don't really know what that means for working moms, other than sucking it up and getting it done. I continue to have mixed feelings about it. What I do know is that I do not want to give up my career hopes and dreams or decline these opportunities and responsibilities...this is what I've been working towards for 10 years, isn't it?
But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't live in a state of denial leading up to the very day of these trips; pretending that it's not happening, refusing to pack my bag until 10 minutes before I'm set to leave the house, begging Penelope to just snuggle with me a little longer before we leave for school and making her give me 10,000 kisses and hugs before I let her go.
It just is what it is. It's never easy, but at this point, I wouldn't really change much I guess. I'm not sure what there would be to change.
So instead, I'll have a pre-flight glass of wine, settle in with a few episodes of Scandal, and try to enjoy a little bit of freedom while constantly checking my phone for updates and photos of my sweet P.